By Larry Peterson
St. John
Paul II said, “Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual
gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with
whom they make up a sole family - a domestic church.”
The
sainted Holy Father was referring to people like Roger and Helena Cartier when
he made that statement. That is because this couple did, in fact, create a
domestic church when they took their marriage vows so long ago. These two
people, this man and woman, are a Catholic love-story not only for today but
for all time. That is because they made the ultimate commitment to each other,
emptied themselves for each other and never looked back.
Spread
across the landscape of our society are many well-springs of marriage and
family. These homes have one predominant thing in common. God is the essence
and focal point of their lives. Roger and Helena are the patriarch and
matriarch of one of those families.
Roger
is a retired letter-carrier. He is also an ordained Deacon in the Catholic
Church. This past February 12, Roger and Helena celebrated their 68th wedding
anniversary. Roger will be 91 years old in June and Helena trails him by a few
years.
The
Deacon is a World War II veteran. He got into the post office after he and
Helena were married. A few years after that he became quite active in the
Knights of Columbus. He rose to the position of District Deputy giving him oversight of many K of C councils
in the Connecticut area. Then his good friend, Father Kuzdal, suggested to
Roger that he should apply to the Permanent Diaconate. Roger was horrified. He
believed he was highly "unqualified" to do this.
What
Roger and Helena did not realize at the time was that God had chosen both of
them. Just as Mary Magdalene was there to help the apostles, Helena would be
there to help her husband in a ministry that required ordination into the
Sacrament of Holy Orders. They had embraced themselves with each other's love
and wrapped their Catholicity around it creating the "domestic
church" that St. John Paul II spoke of. God wanted the two of them because
without each other, this would never have worked.
Deacon
Roger told me how close he was to leaving the diaconate program. All the other
candidates were college graduates, seemingly well versed in scripture and well
spoken. He was sure he had no business being in such "lofty" company.
He went to Father Kuzdal and voiced his concerns. Father looked at him and
said, "Roger, you have a quality these other fellas do not have. You are a
natural listener. You have a gift. You do belong here."
The final
confirmation came from his partner in love and life, Helena. She agreed with
Father Kuzdal and in 1986, L. Roger Cartier became Deacon L. Roger Cartier. He
was ordained in the Diocese of Norwich, CT and remained there for a year. Then
it was on to Pinellas County, Fl where he served until his recent retirement
from ministry.
Deacon
Roger assisted quietly and efficiently over the years always being there when
needed. He was the spiritual director of The Legion of Mary, the spiritual
director of the St. Vincent de Paul Society, he was always Santa Claus at the
Christmas parties, he visited the school frequently, talking to the kids about
"being Catholic".
He was
always available for Stations of the Cross, or Benediction and novenas. Roger
visited the funeral homes when folks passed, did internments at the cemetery
and always spent time with the families. He was a constant fixture at the local
hospital and nursing homes. He also presided over weddings, (mine included),
and performed Baptisms.
The one thing
that was most noticeable (at least to me) was the "one on one"
conversations he always seemed to be having with someone. This is where Father
Kuzdal, so many years earlier, had profiled Roger Cartier perfectly. The man
was a "listener". People sought him out specifically for that reason.
And they still do.
Deacon
Roger and his Helena have three daughters, nine grandchildren and 14
great-grandchildren. They are truly a "domestic church" within our
midst. As for me, it is my honor and privilege to know them. As for all those
who do not, comfort in the fact that people like Roger and Helena are always
among us. Goodness does exist and it holds in its arms many a "domestic church".
“The
union of man and woman in marriage [is] a unique, natural, fundamental and
beautiful good for persons, communities, and whole societies.”
Pope Francis: Rome,
Italy, November 17th, 2014
©Copyright Larry Peterson 2017 All Rights Reserved
No comments:
Post a Comment