May 15, 2011

"Don't blame Marriage"

Dr. Keith Ablow, one of America's leading psychiatrists, an assistant professor at Tufts Medical School and a contributor on the Fox News Medical A-Team has some profound opinions on the subject of marriage. It seems that Dr. Ablow believes that marriage is a source of real suffering for the vast majority of married people and that it is "without a doubt, one of the leading causes of depression in the nation". Under his banner of 'healer" he suggests that marriage is a dying institution. In fact, to prove his point, he quotes actress, Cameron Diaz, who says that "marriage is a dying institution". Ms. Diaz goes on the say that "she doesn't think that we should live our lives based on old traditions that don't suit our world any longer". Dr. Ablow, reinforced by the profound wisdom of Ms. Diaz, insists that the end of marriage is only a matter of time now."

Okay, I'm sure that there are many among the culturally elite who have taken their intelligibility to new metaphysical levels and applaud such lofty reviews. As for me, a blue-collar guy without the lofty credentials of a Dr. Ablow or a Cameron Diaz, I say--"Dr. Ablow, you are riding a horse called "Nonsense" and your sidekick, Cameron, a donkey named "Hogwash".

Look folks, I understand that today we have a 50% divorce rate and that there are many single parent house-holds and that couples actually sign pre-nups (Pre-nuptial agreements) which, in my mind, tells me that do not trust each other to begin with. But--this has nothing to do with marriage.

Don't blame marriage. Blame self-centerdness and me-ism. ME--ME--ME. Marriage, the ultimate commitment to giving of oneself to another, does not fare well when so many folks entering into this union continue to think of themselves first. The media glorifies self-gratification, relegates sexual activity to irresponsible impulse, encourages numerous partners and one night stands and mocks the bizarre concept of saying NO. Our kids are exposed to this twisted mindset from their formative years and onward. What has been attacked is a sense of self-denial, the beauty of self-sacrifice, and the mockery of a commitment which has allowed millions of couples to to enter into a long lasting, meaningful, fulfilling relationship that has lasted a beautiful lifetime. Marriage is the birth of a new family and the family is the cornerstone of our very society. To have such an institution demeaned by those who exist in a world which is the nectar of the tabloids, is a disgrace.

To all of you married couples who believed in commitment and loyalty and have fought the good fight, be proud. To all those who tried and know that in their hearts they gave it their best shot--be proud also. It takes "two to tango"and maybe one refused . Learn and try not to make the same mistake again.